300

I like how it implies that Arby's is a level below hell. -Q10

Just got back from 300, and a lengthy discussion of the movie in the parking lot outside the movie theatre. The entire film can mostly be summed up with the following paragraph:

think of the children!, gay jokes, THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, ass, boobs, ass, Gerard Butler's pert shiny ass, boobs, ewwww het, OMG I THINK HE PUT IT IN HER POOPER, dicks, pecs, ass, pecs, ZOMFG THAT KICKS ASS, pecs, sensual backrubs, Mr. Clean if he were a drag queen, kneel before me and suck it out of a hose, asskicking, some people die, politics blah blah don't care, Hello? Hell Restaurant?, dicks, pecs, asskicking again, Gerard Butler is really hot, some computer graphics, ...and...credits.

I mean, seriously. Is this movie really missing anything? Contrary to most snobby critics who have no appreciation for anything listed above, they probably should've cut out some plot, dialogue, and characterization from the movie, inserted more buttseks (quite literally!) and asskicking and more wind to sweep up the cloaks of the Spartans so I can see if their leather speedos are more the G-string type or the hotpants type.

In other words, I feel really, really straight right now, and I think all the straight guys I went to the movie with now feel really, really gay. The fact that one guy referred to his girlfriend as his "boyfriend" means the movie might've pushed him over the deep end. Gerard Butler has risen a couple of rungs on the ladder of male hotness, and I now feel that I have the prerogative to run around randomly yelling "THIS IS SPARTAAA!" and kicking things.