Just got back from a Graduate Student Association (GSA) speed dating event. I figured I'd go since it's a good way to meet people. I'm not really a bar/club pickup sort of person, since I'm very socially awkward unless I have something to talk about, and hey, it gets me out. So this was the first time the GSA was holding a gay-friendly type of event, so I figured I'd go and scope out the girls, who'd probably number in the single digits. Well, I think there were about 11 lesbian women there out of a pool of about 200 people total, so I guess I can't ask for any more than that.
I think what I'm really looking for is a nice, dorky girl. Somebody who'll understand if I don't want to go out tonight because I want to play Jade Empire/Final Fantasy/Insert Game Here. Somebody to watch some anime with, somebody to watch some movies with, somebody to nerd with. I think everybody's a little nerdy inside, just some types of nerdiness (like watching sports statistics) are more socially acceptable.
Overall, I think a lot of the girls there were really nice. Most of them seemed to know each other already from the LBGT club, which I don't really hang out at. More on why I don't hang out there later. If some of them were sort of dorky they certainly didn't talk about it, but I totally advertised with my [adult swim] shirt. (I figure, if I'm looking for the right sort of person, they'll know my shirt and say something.)
Anyways, nice people, mostly. I don't know if they're people I'd form relationships with, but hey, it's a foot in the door on the community and at this moment that's what I need.
Now to the ranty bits, like why I don't hang out at LBGT clubs. I HATE self-righteous gay people. I tend to label myself as a lesbian, but in all honesty, I learn a little on the bi side too. (If I didn't find cock hot, I wouldn't be a yaoi fan. And since I'm a yaoi fan, I have to find cock hot, and I do.) What I really hate is lesbians who--when they hear I've dated guys before--sort of give you this look of disgust that says, "Ew, you're a breeder too?" I FUCKING HATE THAT LOOK. I hate that attitude of "you have to choose sides, you're either on their side or our side." I hate how every aspect of sexuality is like fighting a war, how they're militant about it and just as closed-minded and unwavering as the side they're fighting against. UGH. *bangs head against wall* They try to make me feel guilty about being bi and liking boys too (and especially boys on boys), and I hate it when somebody guilts me about something that's out of my control. I hate that "you should be like this" superiority, because guess what, THE WORLD AIN'T BLACK AND WHITE. And what's wrong with simply going, "gender doesn't matter?" Isn't that what the whole revolution was about in the first place? I hate people who've lost sight of that, who've got so caught up in the whole meaning of "gay" and "lesbian" that they forget that "queer" has more connotations than just about sexuality.
*sighs* There's supposedly some lesbian party or something on Saturday. I kind of want to go and meet people, but I'm also kind of leery because I don't want to be ostracized because "ZOMG, she's bi." There's an M:TG Timespiral booster draft tournament that day too, so I guess I have an excuse if I need one. :/
Oh well. Have a phallic meme. There is great humor in this, considering the history I've had with popsicles and joking about them with my friends.
Which random phallic object are you?
Quiz by Andrea.
I think my problem with most of the LBGT stuff here (and in general, really) is that it seems that everybody is too focused on their sexuality. Being gay/lesbian/transgendered/etc becomes the core of their identity, and their way of forming bonds with other people - we're both queer, let's be friends!
It's not the same for me - I may be a slightly asexual genderqueer lesbian-leaning bisexual, but it's what I am, not who I am. Who I am is a slightly goth/rivethead/cyberpunk science geek gamer-girl. And those things are what I form friendships based on. It helps that the Wargamers are full of people who are either kinky, queer, or both - my friend Ashley's current boyfriend is prettier than I am - about 6'3", skinny, mid-back straight light blonde hair, and he tends towards wearing bondage skirts. We met him at the city's big goth/industrial club night XD;