September 30, 2005
Of Life and Endings

I've been in a better mood, this week, despite the fact that I've been dead-tired. I think the second bit is a combination of switching brands of tea, and staying up too late having fun. I've been talking to lots of awesome people, both here online and at school, and there has been lots of silly crack which has really just made my week.

And now, what is hopefully the last commentary on the Claudia-drama. I still care about her a great deal, despite what anyone else feels like saying, but at the same time, she frustrates the hell of of me. I think...there were some differences between us that I hoped so badly we could overcome, make things work, but it was not to be. And as it seems she doesn't really want me to be a part of her life any more, I'm just going to let it drop, and become the past. It will hurt, but I'm finally ready to move on, I think. Find my own happiness, without getting caught up in relationships that were frankly, at the end, hurting us both. Maybe...we're both better off this way.

On one more silly sentimental/nostalgia note, I realized how utterly strange it felt to walk around the MIT campus without Skuld. I miss you, even if you are a h0r. Actually, I miss all you guys, particularly the west-coasters who I haven't seen in a year and a half now. Stupid distances and lack of transporters XD <3

September 29, 2005

It's been threatening to rain all day - Michelle and I were sitting outside this morning enjoying the cooler weather and gusts of wind (Up to 50 mph, or so I am told ^^). The rain started on my way home, and has gone on to a full-fledged downpour, which made up for the fact that there was nothing interesting in the mail today, and I got a $10 parking citation for not having a permit for the university yet.

I love the rain. The smell, the feel of it, the way it sounds. Storms at night are eve better, but I'll take what I can get.

EDIT: ...I think I fail at fight scenes. Nooooo. ;;

September 28, 2005

I have a Cloud! I also have most of my draft-essay on why Hamlet/Horatio is my OTP really important to the play done, and it's not due until Friday. So I'm way on top of things. And also wrote like ten paragraphs of RP posts today. Which is a good thing.

I also forgot to mention my grand adventures at the MIT info session on Sunday. Mostly they involved playing DDR. I think everybody else who came is stupid, because they passe up a fifty-cent DDR Extreme machine. The game room was totally empty. Which means I played two of the best games of DDR I've done in a while, which was totally awesome. The info session itself wasn't much to speak about - not hideously boring, but not all new and exciting anyway. It basically confirmed everything I already knew, although I discovered I may have a better shot at MIT than I thought. And the parents of kids applying are apparently not as bright as their kids, because the same question, more or less, got asked over and over and over, with slight variations. Made me want to kiiiiill.

...And I'll stop now, because apparently my brain is on something at the moment.

EDIT: Jo quote of the night, while I remember to share it - "I was under the impression that helicopters came later in the real world for a reason - because planes work under the same principles as birds, and helicopters work under the principle of crack."

September 26, 2005
A Random FF7 Thought

I think the significance of Hojo and Gast's titles being 'professor' and not 'doctor' really just clicked in my brain. Something to do with now having to remember that I have professors now and not teachers, and have to address them as such. But back to the point, I think it definately implies that there is higher-level education somewhere in that particular universe - most likely above the plate in Midgar, although location is less important. This in turn kind of implies a lower-level education system, which makes me feel justified in having assumed one XD Although, the idea of Hojo teaching classes is a bit scary. Well, might be a bit like Snape, really.

And a sort of larger idea connected to all this - it's really facinating to contemplate that world, and try to fill in all of the many little gaps we're left with. We see a lot of stuff on the surface in the game - mako reactors, SOLDIER, etc. - but none of the inner workings, the background. Jo and I were having a very interesting conversation on science and technology in the FF7 world Saturday night, that kept me up a bit longer than I expected to be XD

...Yeah, this RP has totally taken over my brain.

September 25, 2005
I'm Really, Really Easily Amused

So, for our senior project, we're supposed to keep a journal/log thing of all we do and when. I was originally going to ask if I could keep a blog of it because it's easier for me to remember to write in, but I just had a better idea: Get a nice old-fashioned scientific-research-looking notebook, and title it 'The Sephiroth Project'.

...Shut up, I like it.

(Also, you all should comment here and help me make up my mind what version of Sephiroth to do. Doooo iiiiit.)

September 23, 2005
Shakespeare and a Poem - Two Memes for the Price of One!

The Dreamkeeper

Bring me all your dreams,
You dreamers,
Bring me all your
Heart melodies
That I may wrap them
In a blue cloud-cloth
Away from the too-rough fingers
Of the world.
-Langston Hughes

(I've always loved this poem, which is why my still-current Yuna wallpaper has it on it)


Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.
I am dead, Horatio. Wretched queen, adieu!
You that look pale and tremble at this chance,
That are but mutes or audience to this act,
Had I but time–as this fell sergeant, death,
Is strict in his arrest–O, I could tell you–
But let it be. Horatio, I am dead;
Thou livest; report me and my cause aright
To the unsatisfied.


Never believe it:
I am more an antique Roman than a Dane:
Here's yet some liquor left.


As thou'rt a man,
Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't.
O good Horatio, what a wounded name,
Things standing thus unknown, shall live behind me!
If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart
Absent thee from felicity awhile,
And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain,
To tell my story.

March afar off, and shot within

What warlike noise is this?


Young Fortinbras, with conquest come from Poland,
To the ambassadors of England gives
This warlike volley.


O, I die, Horatio;
The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit:
I cannot live to hear the news from England;
But I do prophesy the election lights
On Fortinbras: he has my dying voice;
So tell him, with the occurrents, more and less,
Which have solicited. The rest is silence.



Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince:
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!
Why does the drum come hither?

(For those who doen't know it, Hamlet/Horation OTP YAAAAAY. This is Act V, Scene 2 of Hamlet, at the very end - I love Horatio here so much <3)

New Layout

Yeah, finally - and yes, it's out of season, but shhh. There will be a Halloween layout at some point and that will be in-season. Other than that, my mind keeps skipping between Star Trek, Shakespeare, and Shinra's Finest which is getting kind of annoying, and has lead to a lot of me watching TNG reruns on Spike and hoping someone will get the hell online and leave me some replies on the RP.

Also, randomly, Winter burns me the best mix CDs <3 Currently listening to the 'Party Mix' which is good DDR, good Red Hot Chili Peppers, and good Weird Al, among other things.

September 22, 2005
Further Adventures

(Encompassing Tales from the GSA, Why I Love Science, Part Two and The Great Moth Genocide of '05)

So. Tuesday was our first GSA meeting. I use the term 'meeting' lightly here, because it was only me and one of the juniors - Mr. Barys left after five minutes saying he had things to do. But it was alright, the junior was cool, and we chatted for a while and ate all the snacks ourselves. Mr. Barys said he'd coerce more juniors into coming by threatening to fail them or something - he's an awful man, but that's why we love him XD;

My biotech professor also shared an amusing anecdote the other day with us - apparently she was at a seminar of some sort with a lot of other biochemits, and the lecturer was talking about something that had to do with phosphorylation, which apparently caused the head of her department to stand up and shout 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!'. This in turn caused a bunch of other biochemist to stand up and shout 'Hallelujah!', thus proving that scientists are fun.

I also got home from work tonight to be informed that what I thought was a minor moth outbreak in a package of crackers and some very old hot chocolate mix was actually a full-fledged moth invasion. Apparently there were giant colonies living in two half-finished jars of peanuts. I'm...really glad I wasn't there to see that, as I would have been totally grossed out.

Also, seeing Patrick Stewart with hair is so weird.

September 21, 2005
And Now For Something Completely Different

...AKA, RP stuff. I sense nobody outside the RP really cares about my lovely little characters, but in case you do - the '20 things about you' meme for Asher and Ally, plus a picture of Asher by me that doesn't suck, and is actually pretty close to what Asher-in-my-head looks like. And you can see some of his piercings, which will probably get their own little sketches later.

Also, finally got around to reading through some of the Midgar threads, and Jack is so much love XD


...And it has nothing to do with my friends, for once. (Well, actually, I'm posting this to avoid posting about friends-drama which I am more upset about but everyone is sick of hearing.)

So. Sunday night I got involved in a minor car accident. I was in Boston, after having dropped Mara off at the train station, and I was trying to get onto 93-S to get headed back home. I wound up in the right lane when I needed to be in the left lane, and as I switched lanes, the guy in the left lane switched into the right lane and there wasn't enough clearance between our cars, and my front right bumper clipped the corner of his back left bumper with a noticeable lurch

So we both pull over, guy gets out while his girlfriend stays in the passenger's seat, looks at the car, and then starts talking to me. I panic, because this is my first real car accident, but some phone calls are made, and it's decided that he would get an estimate done and call me, and my family would decide if we would just pay then (to avoid the possibility of raising our insurance premiums) or go to the insurance company. As he drives off, I see the damage, which is a roughly six-by-six inch scratched up section - no denting, just the paint.

Girlfriend calls Monday, gets my dad, tells him that the estimated damage was $400, and gives my dad the name and number of her boyfriend. Upon any inquiry as to the body shop the estimate was done at or their insurance company, she just says 'Ask my boyfriend.' So my dad calls the boyfriend, we discover that the girlfriend is the actual owner of the car, and the boyfriend claims he doesn't know the body shop or insurance company off the top of his head, but will find out. There is a collective moment of 'Well, shit.' here as we suspect that they just made up some number, and were very possibily driving uninsured (which is illegial here in MA). But we figure we'll wait and see.

Then, today, their insurance company calls - I figure they decided that if we weren't giving them their $400 without more info they'd just go straight there. I talk to the agent, and discover they said they were at a full stop while I remember them being moving. This apparently means that I may have to deal with another agent later this week because the agent I spoke to doesn't handle those types of claims. We also call our insurance company to let them know, and I talk to that agent as well.

The long and short of it is that apparently if the damage is less than $500, we have no increase in our premiums. The fact that I'm no longer facing paying $200+ out-of-pocket is nice, but I still feel like total shit about the whole thing, and have all week - kind of like I want to go curl up in a corner and die of shame or something. Which is probably why I'm doing a massive write-up here. I also feel like shit about friends stuff, which this made worse, but there will be time later to rant about that.

September 20, 2005
Letters Letters Letters

Lizzy, is your address in Japan the same as it was back in the spring? I'm finally getting caught up on my letter-writing XD

Also, Jo/anyone who has Jo's address, could you e-mail it to me? I have some stuff I meant to put in the mail back in the spring that got misplaced, that I just found again.

Real life later - people should look at the post below this and give me opinions *is horribly indecisive*

September 19, 2005
The Grand Debate

So, among many other things I will blog about eventually (ie, tomorrow), I'm currently deciding which version of Sephiroth I want to do for my senior project before going wild buying and drafting stuff. It's down to Advent Children!Sephiroth and the default FF7 outfit.

Default FF7 has the advantage of not looking like a heroin addict and not having those weird and probably impossible to find buckles.

Advent Children has the advantage of not having leg-of-mutton sleeves (Dear Nomura, those haven't been in style since the 16th century) or crack-bangs, and shoulders that don't suffer from that CLAMP coat-hanger look.

Either way I get to make glove gaskets! Ah, crack FF designs are love.

Opinions from the masses?

September 16, 2005

I keep noticing people that look like older versions of my RP characters lately - Tim Roth as Mr. Orange in Resevoir Dogs is perfect as an older Asher save the eye color - his are blue, and Ash's are light brown. And my Shakespeare professor reminds me a lot of an older version of Ally - I think it's the hair

I've also discovered that I can't wear rose scents. Not because they do strange things on my skin, but because it reminds me of Claudia and that hurts way too much right now. This is definately a disappointment, because I had some blends with roses on my 'interested' list for BPAL, and one rose coming my way - Black Cat - and I really really like the scent of roses. But I had to cover over the smell of the rose body wash I used in the shower with amber after five minutes because I was on the verge of tears.

...Also, I am so going to kill my family. Someone put something in the dishwasher that had food on it that now smells like rotting meat and sour milk. Just loading the rest of the dishwasher gave me this awful headache and some nausea, and now everytime I breathe in through my nose I feel like I can still smell it ><

EDIT: Note to self - when I am having a good day, strong florals are absolutely lovely. However, when I am having a bad day, it just makes my headache worse ><

Also, Claudia, if you are reading this - when I said I wanted my Farscape back now three weeks ago, and then again, a week and a half ago, I meant now. You've had more than enough time, and if I have to go over there myself to get them back, I am going to be really, really displeased. And demand you pay for the gas money it took to get there, which will probably be three times as much as it would have cost to mail them.

EDIT2: ...Okay, deep breaths, calming down. Lack of sleep makes me insanely twitchy and irritable, which is why I need to stop stomping around the house being upset over everything, and good to bed. Good night, all <3

Why I Love Science

I think 'doublesex' is the best protien name ever - it's a regulatory protein which determines if male or female traits are expressed in fruit flies.

And I remember one of the several amusing things my professor said yesterday - be nice to metabolic biochemists (which is what she is), because they know many ways to kill you nobody will ever detect.

And Yuumei, not coming tonight, unfortunately :\ I need sleep like whoa. So I'll show up tomorrow around two-ish, hopefully.

More Birthday Wishes

Before I forget...A great bit

Happy Birthday!

to Koumori (I hope I got the day right). I have a great deal of respect for you, both as a person and a costumer, even if I'm a little afraid to approach you sometimes.

September 15, 2005
An Interesting Discovery

Talking about protiens in my Biotech class makes me want chicken. I think this is entirely Jo's fault.

Also, my professor says the best things, and I wish I could actually remember them. And I think I did okay on my Calc test.

September 14, 2005

Worked some on my calc homework for next week, and suddenly things clicked and made a lot more sense. I probably won't do stunningly on the test tomorrow, but I feel a lot better about it. I also got a ton of stuff done that needed to get done, and cooked, so my mood has been greatly improved.

I also discovered that apparently amber loves me, and I love it right back. This lead to a little bit of impulse-buying of BPAL imps from a forumite, which means they'll be here sooner than the month and a half backlog from the Lab. Until then, I've got a nice big (well, relatively speaking) bottle of essential oil that was what I tried first to keep me company <3

September 13, 2005
FF7: Advent Children

The super-non-spoilery reaction? I like it. A lot.

Now, for the spoilery stuff, in no real order...

Read More?

September 12, 2005

I was actually in a pretty good mood coming home from work, after getting all my work on Twelfth Night done earlier and laying the metaphorical smackdown on this old man who insisted we were open until 10:30, when in fact the pool closes, and has always closed, no later than 9:30.

But oh, one little sentance on my friendslist and my heart is back to that lovely, lovely sinking feeling I've managed to finally avoid for a couple weeks. I'm on top of my school work, now I just need to get on top of the rest of my life...

Also, Calculus continues to bite.


Calculus is the tool of Satan, I think. I can only get through about three quarters of my homework problems at all, even with the solutions manual, because I simply don't understand where the hell they're getting some of these steps.

This, combined with all the editing and revising I have to do on my Shakespeare paper and the fact that I'm working for three hours means that I don't get to watch Advent Children until after school tomorrow. Nooooo. (Which also means that your reply will have to wait until tomorrow too, Mara - sorry)

Also, I am incredibly screwed for my Calc test on Thursday. I was doing so well up until this section, too...

September 9, 2005
Stupid Brain

I need to convice myself that applying to an online RP is a Bad Plan, because I am 1) not good enough 2) too shy to play with people I don't know. The Turks RP may be comatose or narcoleptic or something, but it will have to serve for now.

...Tangentially related, I need to bug Winter about borrowing her D+D books so I can have some idea what to do before that game gets started. Whenever that is.

Lalala. I don't want to write e-mails, but I have to, because Ben will whine at me more if I don't.

Birthday Wishes

Great big

Happy Birthday!

to Yuumei <3

September 8, 2005
Work Drama

So, apparently our new Aquatics Director was supposed to start yesterday, but called Tuesday to say she couldn't do it - no idea if this is temporary or permanent, but we are without a director, and Kelly, who's the assistant director is pissed, because she's stuck with a bunch of responsiblities and duties she doesn't want to have. I also got to help out the aquarobics teacher, Nancy, which was nice - she's a great lady, and it gave me something to do. Then, at the end of the shift, I had three out-of-control teenage boys, who actually managed to break one of the lane-lines. Look, people. When I say 'Don't hang on the lane-lines.', I mean it. Got his name and left a note for Kelly, someone else can deal with it tomorrow.

Also, the kids in my Shakespeare class are such slackers. We were supposed to bring multiple copies of our drafts in today to exchange with group-members, so we can read them and give feedback tomorrow. Two boys in my group didn't bring them. So they were supposed to e-mail them instead. They haven't.

Oh well, makes my life easier.

September 7, 2005

Yes, I know, it's barely September, but this is when I start planning these things. Particularly as this is sort of my last big Halloween year, being a senior and all, and I'd kind of like going out with a bang. Unfortunately, I have no inspiration other than taking the moon angel outfit out of the closet and touching it up, which may be a plan. Any other ideas?

I'd also kind of like to have a little party before trick or treating, but as it's going to be a Monday, I don't know how feasible this is.

...Shit. Just realized that I've got work that night >< Must beg someone into covering for me.

Also, I totally need a new blog layout. Like, now.

September 6, 2005

Insomnia is a particularly refined sort of hell, I think. After spending an hour trying to get to sleep last night, I woke up at quarter 'til six this morning, more than an hour before I had to actually get up. After spending forty-five minutes trying to fall back asleep, I gave in to the inevitable, and got up. Which unfortuantely means I feel like crap right now.

In an entirely unrelated note, Yuumei, your layout's done. Catch me on sometime this week and I'll help you put it up.

September 5, 2005

Just running around getting lots of little things done, and I felt like I should mention to those interested that Vienna Teng is playing at Club Passim in Cambridge on Friday October 21st. My mom and I have tickets to the seven o'clock show.

And now, back to calculus and e-mailing.


Just running around getting lots of little things done, and I felt like I should mention to those interested that Vienna Teng is playing at Club Passim in Cambridge on Friday October 21st. My mom and I have tickets to the seven o'clock show.

And now, back to calculus and e-mailing.

September 4, 2005
I'm Back!

Pennsylvania was suprisingly fun - it was my grandpa's side of the family, who I don't see as much. Lots of good food was eating, and I watched my Great-Uncle Bob and my mom's cousin Julianne clean about ten lobsters...both kind of gross and kind of neat. My perpetually busy cousins Ursula and Natalie even managed to make it, although they spent most of the time talking to my cousin Alexis. Luckily her nickname is Lecky, or however you spell it, so I didn't burst out laughing each time anybody said it. Did start laughing when my mom said my cousin Van was going to be there, though...just couldn't help it XD;

We went to see The Brothers Grimm Saturday night, which I enjoyed immensely. The atmosphere was beautifully spooky and dark, even if the combination of it and A Midsummer Night's Dream gave me nightmares about evil insane fairy queens.

...My brain is so fried right now, and I'm only making it worse by trying to to my Biotech research - these articles all have titles like 'Proteasome-dependent, ubiquitin-independent degradation of the Rb family of tumor suppressors by the human cytomegalovirus pp71 protein.'. Also, the Turks RP has like, died or something. It makes me sad ;;

September 2, 2005
Outta Town

In PA for the weekend visiting relatives - back Sunday night or Monday afternoon. I've got my cell if anyone needs to reach me. Have a nice weekend!