March 26, 2012
A brief rant

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired with no explanation. I'm tired of the near-constant brainfog, of wanting to sleep twelve hours a night, of coming home from work and not having the energy to do anything but sit on the sofa and stare at the internet. None of this is new. This has been the last eight years of my life, with increasing severity.

What's new is that I've lost twenty-five pounds in a month and a half, without changing what I eat or how I exercise (in fact, I've been eating more). My fingernails have started breaking all the time. I sweat in my sleep.

I've had piles of tests done. I could give a laundry list of things that aren't wrong with me, because all of them have come back normal. And GPs just look at me and shrug and say things like 'it's probably stress' or 'you need to exercise more' and it's just... no. Something is wrong. And nobody knows what it is, or has the decency to straight-up say 'yeah, there's something wrong here but I can't tell you what' instead of making me feel like a paranoid hypochondriac, which, by the way, is a really shitty thing to do to someone with anxiety disorders.

Updates, what are those

...Things I forget about, obviously. I guess general status update - I have a job! It is basically a trained monkey job, but it's fulltime, and may have benefits (I started as a temp but am being switched to perm). It's also kind of a gongshow right now because it's a new facility so stuff isn't 100% online and they got kind of flooded with business, which in the long run is good but in the short run means I worked like a 44hour work week last week, and that was with finishing early on Friday.

April is con month! After a lot of waffling, I decided that yes I am going to Sakuracon, mostly to hang with and enjoy Seattle. Costume line-up:
-Gintoki (Gintama) for Friday
-Ukitake (Bleach), with Unohana and Kyoraku for Saturday (YAY old captain group)
-Hakkai (Saiyuki) for Saturday night and Sunday. Maybe, idk.

And then ACen at the end of the month which I am SUPER EXCITE about:
-Gintoki (Gintama)
-Juubei (Getbackers)
-Hakkai (Saiyuki)

OTHER THAN THAT, I have been cleaning more, which is good, and have a terrible headcold right now, which is bad. I called in sick to work for basically the first time ever because I woke up at seven this morning with a fever and a headache that's been there since Friday. I feel kind of guilty but on the other hand fuck, I couldn't handle an 8+ hour day of lifting and walking and LOTS OF NOISE like this. So I'm going to hide in my house with tea and maybe cook some. Home remedies for terrible headcolds with bonus sore throats appreciated, this is an awful feeling :|