May 18, 2005

So, I was wandering around fic rec lists and came across this one, which is very beatiful, and got me thinking. I think, if I could have one creative talent that I don't think I really do right now, it's that I wasn't so damn tone deaf. Being able to draw well or write better would be nice, but music is more integral to me than either of those.

I think most of the people here who've known me for a few years know this, but for those who don't, I used to play flute. Well, I suppose I still do, technically, but I haven't had much time for it this year. I started in fifth grade, and I was in the concert band in middle school and the first two years of high school - not this year, though. I didn't like playing in band a lot, mostly because I didn't like a lot of my band, and I didn't like the pieces we played, but I liked, and still like playing pieces I like, on my own. And I like to sing, although I tend to be too embarassed and self-concious of how off-key I am in anything but church hymns and Christmas carols to sing when other people are listening, but if I know the words or melody to a song, I'll start singing along - drove Ben crazy when I was playing Kingdom Hearts. And through that, I'm always frustrated by the fact that I can't keep on key - I can tell when I'm off, but not how to fix it.

It's kind of strange. I've been surrounded by music a my whole life, pretty much. My mother sings fairly well, and used to play flute. My dad, like I am, is a bit tone-deaf, but doesn't care, and plays the guitar and banjo well. I grew up listening to 102.5, the NPR classical station. Music is comforting to me.

...Wow. I've been really introspective lately. I think it's part reading too many R/S fics, and the fact that school is ending, and that I've had a lot of time to myself recently - when left alone, I think, and this is both a good and a bad thing.